126: Joy and Pleasure After Sexual Self-Abandonment
Send us Fan Mail Sexual self-abandonment is what happens when we stop having sex for ourselves. We may or may not actually stop having sex — we might be doing it for someone else. For their desire, on their timeline, their idea of what sex should look like, while our own wants, our own pace, […]
125: What Two Feminist Relationship Coaches See in Heated Rivalry, with Maggie Reyes
Send us Fan Mail It's Pride Month, and I am celebrating with my dear friend and fellow feminist relationship coach Maggie Reyes by doing something I've been wanting to do anyway: sit down and talk about Heated Rivalry — the show, the books, why we love them, and what they actually teach us about real […]
124: From Avoiding Sex to Loving It: Real Client Data
Send us Fan Mail If you've been wondering whether your sex life can actually be different, this is the evidence. This episode is like the before and after photos you've been needing that real people get real change. We're going into details about specific goals and what actually changes when people do real, structured work […]
123: The Last Place High Achievers Give Themselves Permission
Send us Fan Mail You've solved harder problems than this. So why is this one still stuck? This episode is for the high achievers who have done real work on themselves — the therapy, the books, the hard conversations — and still can't get traction when it comes to desire, intimacy, and their closest relationships. […]
122: Coming Home to Your Body: What Sexual Embodiment Actually Feels Like
Send us Fan Mail Most people who feel disconnected from their desire, their body, or their partner aren't broken. They're just exiled — from themselves. And nobody ever taught them the way back. This episode is about what it actually feels like when you find it. The felt sense of coming home to your own […]
121: The Cult Dynamics Hiding Inside “Sacred Sexuality” Spaces — with Anke Richter
Send us Fan Mail You don't have to join a compound to end up in a high-control group. Sometimes it starts with a neo-tantra festival. A weekend workshop. A community that feels like finally, finally, you found your people. Anke Richter is an international cult journalist, author of the bestseller Cult Trip (HarperCollins), and founder […]
120: The Men Behind “Sexual Polarity” Have a Lot to Answer For
Send us Fan Mail If you've ever left a sacred sexuality workshop feeling worse about yourself than when you walked in — or heard a friend blame herself for not being “receptive enough” — this episode is for you. Sexual polarity teachings are everywhere right now. They promise to unlock your feminine energy, reignite desire, […]
119: Why Therapy Hasn’t Fixed Your Sex Life (and What Actually Does)
Send us Fan Mail You've done the work. Real work. Therapy, couples counseling, the conversations, the books. You understand yourself better than you ever have — and you still feel the same way in your body. That's not a sign you're beyond help. It's a sign you've been using the wrong tools. This episode explains […]
118: Low Libido Isn’t a Mindset Problem: Why You Can’t Think Your Way to Desire
Send us Fan Mail If you've been trying to figure out how to want sex more and nothing is working — this episode is going to explain why. And it's probably not the answer you've heard before. A lot of people struggling with low desire or low libido have already done the reading. They understand […]
BDSM negotiation: what happens when you skip it, and how to do it right
There’s a version of BDSM negotiation that gets taught as homework: sit down with a checklist, compare your yes/no/maybe lists. Maybe you even write up a contract, file it somewhere. It sounds organized. It also sounds like the least sexy thing imaginable, which is probably why so many couples skip it — or do a […]