The Desire Gap Blog
You're Not Broken. Your Relationship Isn't Doomed. You Just Need Better Tools.
Desire discrepancies affect about 80% of couples—yet it’s one of the hardest issues to get help with. Whether you’re experiencing mismatched desire, overthinking sex, feeling disconnected from your body, or simply want to understand how desire works, this blog offers real answers.
Why is it so hard to get help? Most therapists don’t receive specialized training in desire issues, and medical providers have no ability to address the emotional and relational aspects.
That’s exactly why I became a desire coach.
I’m Laura Jurgens, a Desire & Arousal Specialist and certified intimacy coach. I help couples close the desire gap through somatic, body-based approaches that get you out of your head and back into connection—whether you’re overthinking sex, can’t talk about it, or feel disconnected from your own desire.
I support both partners equally. No blame. No shame. Whether you’re the higher-desire partner feeling rejected or the lower-desire partner feeling pressured, there’s a path forward for both of you.
Here you’ll find real, actionable strategies from The Desire Gap Bridge™ Method on:
- Closing the desire gap – Understand what’s really happening and where to start
- ADHD and desire – How neurodivergence affects intimacy and what to do about it
- Stop overthinking sex and get embodied – Somatic practices to feel instead of analyze
- Communication that actually works – Talk about desire and boundaries without awkwardness
- Move past shame and reconnect – Rebuild intimacy and have more playful sex
Start exploring below.
Why ‘Love Should Be Effortless’ Is Ruining Your Relationship
I'm going to ask you something that may be uncomfortable: What are you willing to invest in your most important relationship? I'm talking about real investmen ...
Why Do I Want Sex So Much (Or So Little)? Understanding Your Desire
If you're dealing with a desire discrepancy, you probably think you know what you want: more sex, or less sex.But here's what I've learned after years of workin ...
How to Stop Taking Sexual Rejection Personally
If you're the higher-desire partner, this one's for you. When your partner says no to sex and you immediately spiral into "they don't love me," "I'm undesirab ...
Why Obligation Sex Is Harming Your Relationship (And What to Do Instead)
Let me be direct about this: If you're having obligation sex, you are harming yourself and your relationship. I know that sounds harsh. And I say it with comp ...
How to Stop Trying to Fix Your Partner and Start Fixing the Dynamic
This is the foundational mistake that underlies almost everything else when it comes to desire discrepancies. When there's a desire gap in your re ...
Top 10 Mistakes People Make with a Desire Discrepancy . . . (and What to Do Instead)
After years of working with couples on mismatched desire—and recording 100 episodes of my podcast on this exact topic—I've noticed something: the same patterns ...