Do you support other relationship issues or only libido mismatch?

Yes, I am well trained in and very experienced with a range of relationship challenges. I support individuals and couples in solving a wide range of issues. If you’re curious whether I’d be a good fit to support your particular needs, just schedule a free consultation and we’ll talk it over. If I’m not the right fit for you, I will always tell you (and try to give you a referral to someone who is). 

How long are your sessions?

Sessions are normally 45-to 50 minutes online (via secure Zoom link). In-person sessions are in Asheville, North Carolina, U.S.A. and are 60 minutes, which gives us a bit more time to settle into the space together (use the restroom, get tea, etc.)

Both in-person and online sessions get great results.

NeuroAffective Touch® sessions are one to two hours and are priced at an hourly rate if done outside of a standard coaching package. If you are interested in this incredibly effective approach to releasing attachment and relational trauma, please book a consultation to discuss it. 

How long does it take to get results?

My clients typically work with me for relatively short periods (6 to 18 months), depending on their goals and starting points. Packages start with 12 weeks (3 months) at a time. I am focused on getting you what you came for as soon as possible. I often have a waiting list, and a lot of my clients come from my very happy former-client referrals (check out what they have to say HERE!). 

Do you offer in-person intensives?

Yes. This is an excellent way to get serious transformation, quickly. I do in-person intensives in beautiful Asheville, North Carolina. Typically these are 1 to 2 days of 3 to 5-hour sessions. Email me to inquire about scheduling and we can set up a call to talk about your goals and whether an intensive might be right for you. 

What do we do in session?

This is embodied work. We will interact in a “relationship lab” where we establish and practice skills within our real relationship. I will invite you into exercises that give you stepping stones to reach your specific goals. 

Unlike talk therapy, I do not remain distant or act as if I’m not a vulnerable human just like you. Everything we do will be within your boundaries and mine. We will go at your pace and I will always check in with you about what feels ok for us to practice or play with. This is part of how clients learn to confidently and masterfully navigate conversations around their desires and boundaries.

In-person clients also have the option of working with consent-based, clothes-on, non-genital touch. I will offer or invite touch when it serves your goals and needs. Examples include holding, practicing light or firm touches to see what your body likes, to learn how to ask for what you like, or to learn how to touch a partner. Other examples might include touch for disinhibition or learning to use touch in power play dynamics. If you are working on learning breast or genital touch, we will use a toy model to show you how to touch and let you practice.

You will always get real, honest feedback and complete acceptance from me as part of this process. Plus, we have fun! The motto of the Somatica Method® is “transformation through pleasure.“

How do I know if I need a therapist or a coach?

Coaching and therapy are very compatible. They just do different things. Coaching is results-oriented and focused on the present and future. That means it is oriented towards getting substantial and specific changes in your life that you take into your future, in a matter of months not years.

Talk therapy is generally more past-focused and a place to work on understanding and accepting where behaviors or feelings come from, rather than concrete results. It is also often a very slow process, taking many years for any changes to occur, if they do.

Many clients (and I myself) have both a coach and therapist. If you want to focus on understanding your past — the reasons behind your emotions and reactions, and your childhood wounds, you should absolutely find and hire a good therapist (be picky!).

If you want to focus on the present and the future — getting what you want in life — then a good coach is often a better fit than a therapist (again, be picky!). The type of coaching I do is practice-oriented. We actually practice real relational and intimacy skills, which you will not get in talk therapy. Most therapists are frankly not trained well (or at all) around intimacy issues and definitely will not do relational practice with clients. This type of practice will give you the confidence you need to take these skills into your relationships. 

If you have serious and un-addressed trauma in your past, I recommend specific therapy modalities to process your trauma. You can do this either before or while you are getting coached. Recommended approaches include NeuroAffective Touch® (especially for attachment trauma, complex trauma or birth trauma; this is the type of trauma work I do myself), and/or IFS (Internal Family Systems). For shock trauma (single or limited-duration traumatic events), EMDR and Somatic Experiencing are very effective. I also highly recommend doing both NeuroAffective Touch and EMDR for sexual trauma. My personal advice is to beware talk-only therapy if you have unaddressed trauma as it can be re-traumatizing rather than helpful. 

Is there anyone you don’t work with?

I do not work with people who have serious mental or emotional illnesses, such as active major depression, debilitating anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia, or a personality disorder (like Narcissistic or Borderline PD). This is simply because I am not a specialist in these conditions and they do require specialist support. 

I also do not work with couples where only one person wants to be doing the work. Both parties need to be interested in getting coached and fully willing to participate.  

What does it cost to work with you and how do I pay?

Single sessions are $275. I offer substantial package discounts, and most clients take advantage of these by booking 12-session packages. 

Clients pay online before the session or package start date. Packages are eligible for full refunds of remaining session balances if you get what you came for early or desire to stop for any reason. 

Is it worth the investment? 

Research shows relationship quality is the biggest predictor of happiness in life. We also know that disconnection and intimacy issues are by far the leading causes of breakups and divorces. So of course I think it’s worth it, and my former clients do too. 

See what they have to say here. 

Some people have a hard time investing in their own joy. Please don’t be one of them. 

Healing your relationships — with yourself and others — will bring you more joy than products ever will.

I invite you to consider investing in yourself, and prioritizing your own pleasure and enjoyment of your precious life and body. To me, this is much more worthwhile than all the stuff (commodities like cars, booze, handbags, clothes, etc.) that we buy. You and your pleasure are worth prioritizing. Your transformation can never be taken away from you and doesn’t expire. 

Ultimately, you decide what your own goals are worth to you. You have to weigh what the cost is of your current level of pain or struggle. Most of the time, people underestimate how much not changing is costing them — in time, energy, and misery. What would it be worth to you to feel free of the pain and struggle? What is living up to your full potential for pleasure and connection worth to you? 

Will it work for me?

You are unique, but you’re also human. The coaching approach I use works for all humans, with few exceptions (serious mental illness or personality disorders that get in the way of relational learning). As long as you commit to show up and do the practice with your whole heart, and you are willing to believe you can actually make change, these methods will work for you. Step one is believing in your own potential for change. That’s the hardest part– and no one can do it for you. I will help you build belief along the way. It’s one of the most important things we do together. 

How often should I see you?

Typically I work weekly with clients, with flexibility if either of us are traveling or on vacation. Weekly sessions tend to work best because we can build momentum. It’s just like learning a new sport. You will get faster results if you don’t have time to go back to old, default habits. But I do offer flexibility and we can always reschedule when conflicts arise.

Is it hard work? 

It’s fun work. It’s rewarding. And sometimes that means it’s challenging, but in a good way. My clients are always surprised at how much fun we have and how much they look forward to our sessions. I will guide you and we will go gently. Sometimes tough emotions will come up and I will support you in processing them. You won’t be alone.

You don’t need to do anything but show up with an open mind and a willingness to try. I will never tell you what to do, but I will always be honest about the likely consequences of your choices so YOU can choose wisely. 

If you have other questions, please feel free to send me an email (see contact info below)

Interested in talking over whether I can help you?