97: What you’re really working toward with mismatched libidos

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Most people think the goal with mismatched libidos is making the lower-desire partner want more of the sex you've been having—or making the higher-desire partner want less. But that's not it. 

And it wouldn't work anyway. 

I walk through the actual goals when you're healing a desire gap. They boil down to maximizing sexual compatibility, emotional connection, and quality of communication, then deciding how to manage whatever gap, if any, is left over. This means focusing first on better quality sex, real emotional connection, and removing what's blocking desire. Then making clean decisions together. Plus, we'll talk about why magic bullets or quick fixes don't work, and what does. 

Get my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and “Shoulds” Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guide

More links:
Substack at https://laurajurgens.substack.com/

Pleasure Path Diagnostic here: https://laurajurgens.com/diagnostic/

About me, testimonials, blog, bookings: https://laurajurgens.com/

Wheel of Erotic emotions, go to: https://laurajurgens.com/wheel

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Free Guide
Get Out of Your Head
Most of us were never taught how to actually be present with our own bodies and desire. This guide is a starting point for something different.

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Meet Laura Jurgens, PhD
My approach is research-backed, body-based (somatic), and explicitly inclusive of all genders, orientations, and relationship structures. I developed The Pleasure Path Method™ from years of study and practice — and it works whether you’re starting alone or with a partner.