95: Why obligation sex destroys desire (and what works better)

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You think having sex when you don't really want to will keep your partner happy. But obligation sex actually destroys desire—and doesn't help either of you in the long run.

Research shows that when you cross your own boundaries repeatedly this way, your desire drops even further. Resentment builds. And your partner can wind up feeling even more unwanted.

I break down what actually happens with obligation sex, why it doesn't help either partner, and how to choose a different option that honors each person's truth while actually building (rather than eroding) connection.

Get my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and “Shoulds” Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guide

More links:
Substack at https://laurajurgens.substack.com/

Pleasure Path Diagnostic here: https://laurajurgens.com/diagnostic/

About me, testimonials, blog, bookings: https://laurajurgens.com/

Wheel of Erotic emotions, go to: https://laurajurgens.com/wheel

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Free Guide
Get Out of Your Head
Most of us were never taught how to actually be present with our own bodies and desire. This guide is a starting point for something different.

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Meet Laura Jurgens, PhD
My approach is research-backed, body-based (somatic), and explicitly inclusive of all genders, orientations, and relationship structures. I developed The Pleasure Path Method™ from years of study and practice — and it works whether you’re starting alone or with a partner.