You've heard it a thousand times: “keep the spark alive, get back to how it used to be, recreate that honeymoon phase magic.” But what if that's the wrong goal entirely?
Here's what nobody tells you: the honeymoon phase was a drug state — literally. A neurochemical cocktail of dopamine, norepinephrine, and nerve growth factor that made you want constantly, but didn't actually deliver the goods. Research shows that only 49% of women climax in new or casual encounters, compared to 70% in long-term committed relationships. You were having more sex, more urgently — and less actual satisfaction.
In this episode, I unpack the neuroscience of New Relationship Energy (NRE), why it was never meant to last, and — most importantly — what becomes available on the other side of it when you build intentionally. Spoiler: it's not a consolation prize. It's deep satisfaction that a honeymoon phase literally cannot give you.
You'll learn:
- What's actually happening in your brain and body during the “honeymoon phase” of NRE (and how serotonin actually drops)
- Why the NRE fade is completion, not failure
- What long-term desire offers that new relationships never can — being truly known, a partner who has learned your actual erotic makeup, and trust built through rupture and repair (if you do the work to build it)
- Why “trying harder” doesn't work — and what actually changes the pattern
- The new research showing that desire for novelty and desire for deep commitment aren't opposites
This episode ends with a guided future visualization to help you focus forward.
If you've been trying to go backward, this episode will turn you around.
Get my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and “Shoulds” Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guide
More links:
Substack at https://laurajurgens.substack.com/
Pleasure Path Diagnostic here: https://laurajurgens.com/diagnostic/
About me, testimonials, blog, bookings: https://laurajurgens.com/
Wheel of Erotic emotions, go to: https://laurajurgens.com/wheel
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