94: Your brain is keeping you stuck in a desire gap (here’s how to override it)
Send us Fan Mail You know your desire discrepancy is a problem. You've known for months, maybe years. So why haven't you done anything about it? It's not laziness or lack of care—it's your brain doing exactly what evolution designed it to do. Here's how to override it. This episode helps you understand the neuroscience […]
93: ADHD & Desire Gaps, Part 1: High libido, low libido, or sometimes both
Send us Fan Mail If you have ADHD and your sex life feels challenging, you're not broken – your brain just works differently. Maybe you have super high libido and use sex or masturbation to feel at home in your body. Or maybe your libido is low because sex hasn't been working for your body […]
92: Getting on the Same Team, Part 2: How to talk about sex without fighting
Send us Fan Mail You know you need to talk about your desire gap, but every time you try, it devolves into a fight. Someone gets defensive or spirals into shame, and you're right back where you started – or worse. In this episode, you get the exact framework for having the conversation that actually […]
91: Getting on the Same Team, Part 1: Stop venting to friends and start solving the problem together
Send us Fan Mail You're both in pain about your desire gap, but you're processing it separately – venting to friends, talking to therapists, building separate narratives about what's wrong. Meanwhile, the gap between you keeps widening. Sound familiar? Most couples approach mismatched libidos like adversaries: one person wants more sex, one wants less, and […]
90: What your body learned about love before you could talk: Healing attachment wounds with Dr. Aline LaPierre
Send us Fan Mail Why does your body shut down during intimacy even when your mind wants connection? Why does rejection trigger panic that feels way bigger than the situation? The answer might have nothing to do with your current relationship—and everything to do with attachment wounds living in your nervous system. In this episode, […]
89: Desire Solutions: Signs that you’re rushing penetration & what to do instead
Send us Fan Mail Why does penetration feel painful, numb, or just… meh? And why does rushing to it kill desire over time? If you're experiencing pain or numbness during sex, struggling with low libido, or wondering why your partner seems less and less interested, this episode is for you. It reveals one of the […]
88: Desire Killers & What To Do Instead: Pouting When You Don’t Get Sex
Send us Fan Mail Tired of the cycle where you don't get sex, so you sulk, which makes your partner want sex even less? You're not alone – and you're definitely not getting the results you want. In this episode, we break down why pouting, withdrawal, and passive aggression after sexual rejection literally kills desire […]
87: Sex Help for Smart People Evolves to The Desire Gap Podcast: Unpacking The #1 Issue I See
Send us Fan Mail This episode is all about why I'm making a change in this podcast, including why that is going to be extra great for you as a listener. In fact, you're going to get even more of my focused expertise, aimed at the issue that affects 80% of people in relationships at […]
86: What is Embodiment? Why Somatics Are Key to Better Sex and Relationships
Send us Fan Mail Your body remembers every touch, every rejection, every moment of connection—even when your mind has forgotten. But most of us are living from the neck up, disconnected from our bodies and the wisdom they hold about our desires, boundaries, and authentic selves. In this episode, I'm demystifying embodiment and somatic (body-based) […]
85: Is It Okay to Fantasize During Sex? A Guide to Helpful vs. Unhelpful Mental Erotica
Send us Fan Mail Many people worry that fantasizing during intimacy means something is wrong with their relationship or attraction to their partner. In this episode, we explore why mental wandering during sex is completely normal and can actually enhance your experience. Learn the difference between healthy fantasy that keeps you present and embodied… versus […]