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# Laura Jurgens, PhD Somatic Sex & Intimacy Coaching

Where the science of desire meets the lived reality of your body.

## Sitemaps

- [XML Sitemap](https://laurajurgens.com/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website.

## Posts

- [Teaching Consent to Kids: The Book List for Every Age (Plus Adults)](https://laurajurgens.com/consent-books-for-kids/) - Teaching Consent to Kids: The Book List for Every Age (Plus Adults) If you’re wondering how to teach consent to your kids—or realizing you never learned it yourself—you’re not alone.Most of us weren’t taught true embodied consent growing up. We learned to hug relatives whether we wanted to or not. We learned that other people’s Complete guide to age-appropriate consent books for kids ages 2-18. Teach body autonomy, boundaries, and embodied consent at home. Curated by relationship coach Dr. Laura Jurgens. Free downloadable list.
- [Why 'Love Should Be Effortless' Is Ruining Your Relationship](https://laurajurgens.com/love-should-be-effortless-ruining-relationship/) - I’m going to ask you something that may be uncomfortable: What are you willing to invest in your most important relationship? I’m talking about real investment. Time, money, effort, and attention. The whole deal. That’s what “doing the work” actually means. And I know some of you are already thinking: “Laura, shouldn’t love be free?
- [Why Do I Want Sex So Much (Or So Little)? Understanding Your Desire](https://laurajurgens.com/why-do-i-want-sex-so-much-or-little/) - If you’re dealing with a desire discrepancy, you probably think you know what you want: more sex, or less sex.But here’s what I’ve learned after years of working with couples—there’s so much more under the surface. And that information is gold for figuring out the way forward together.Most higher-desire partners think they just want sex.
- [How to Stop Taking Sexual Rejection Personally](https://laurajurgens.com/partner-says-no-sex/) - If you’re the higher-desire partner, this one’s for you. When your partner says no to sex and you immediately spiral into “they don’t love me,” “I’m undesirable,” or “our relationship is doomed”—you’re making their experience all about you. And while I understand why (sexual rejection hurts), this response creates a massive problem. When you catastrophize
- [Top 10 Mistakes People Make with a Desire Discrepancy . . . (and What to Do Instead)](https://laurajurgens.com/10-desire-discrepancy-mistakes/) - After years of working with couples on mismatched desire—and recording 100 episodes of my podcast on this exact topic—I’ve noticed something: the same patterns show up over and over again. These aren’t random mistakes. They’re strategies that make perfect sense in the moment. You’re scared. You’re desperate to fix things. You’re using the only tools
- [How to Stop Trying to Fix Your Partner and Start Fixing the Dynamic](https://laurajurgens.com/fix-partner-libido-dynamic/) - This is the foundational mistake that underlies almost everything else when it comes to desire discrepancies. When there's a desire gap in your relationship, it's incredibly tempting to locate the problem in one person. Usually, it's the partner who wants less sex who gets labeled as "the problem." The logic seems obvious: If only
- [Why Obligation Sex Is Harming Your Relationship (And What to Do Instead)](https://laurajurgens.com/obligation-sex-harming-relationship/) - Let me be direct about this: If you’re having obligation sex, you are harming yourself and your relationship. I know that sounds harsh. And I say it with compassion, because I understand why you’re doing it. I’ve been there. You don’t want to disappoint your partner. You don’t want to deal with their hurt feelings

## Pages

- [Home](https://laurajurgens.com/) - The Desire Gap Bridge™ Foundations Program is enrolling → Learn More When a desire gap is destroying your connectionYou’re not broken or wrong for wanting more or less sex than your partner.Your relationship can feel good again — with the right support. Get my free guide to know where to start You are in the
- [About me](https://laurajurgens.com/about-laura-jurgens/) - About Laura Jurgens, PhD — Somatic Sex & Intimacy Specialist Where neuroscience, somatic practice, and attachment theory meet the lived reality of your body. My MissionI’m here to help you have a future full of more pleasure and connection than you can currently imagine.There’s a version of intimacy most people have never experienced — not
- [Book a Consult](https://laurajurgens.com/book-a-consult/) - Book a Consultation What do we do in a consult?This will be a 30 to 45 minute fit call over Zoom.We will discuss where you’re at now, where you want to be, and what we would do to get you there. If we decide mutually that we are a good fit, we will talk about
- [NeuroAffective Touch: Body-Based Attachment Trauma Therapy | Laura Jurgens](https://laurajurgens.com/neuroaffective-touch/) - NeuroAffective Touch: Body-Based Healing for Attachment Trauma Bringing NeuroAffective Touch to couplesI’m thrilled to have co-created Thriving Together: Couples Healing Attachment Patterns Through Touch with Dr. Aline LaPierre, the founder of NeuroAffective Touch. This groundbreaking 6-week course teaches couples how to support each other’s nervous system healing through attuned touch.The next round of this course will
- [Podcast](https://laurajurgens.com/podcast/) - The Desire Gap Podcast Real Solutions for Authentic Intimacy (an evolution of Sex Help For Smart People) Top 5% podcast and 5-star Apple podcast Subscribe Here
- [Libido](https://laurajurgens.com/libido/) - Intimacy is supposed to feel good. Easy. Playful. Let’s help you get there. Get the free guide: Get Out of Your Head — A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and “Shoulds” Around Intimacy Download Your Free Guide Now Inside: four reflection exercises to help you see what’s actually been getting in the way —
- [The Desire Gap Bridge™ Program](https://laurajurgens.com/desire-gap-bridge-program/) - THE DESIRE GAP BRIDGE™ PROGRAM You understand the problem. Here are the tools to solve it.Feel close again — in 6 months. For couples and individuals who’ve tried therapy, books, and scheduled sex—and are ready for the body-based, personalized approach that actually works. Book Your Free Fit Call ✓ Personalized coaching & practices to implement change,
- [Desire Gap Coaching Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)](https://laurajurgens.com/desire-gap-coaching-faq/) - Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) What does it cost to work with you?Full details for The Desire Gap Bridge™ Program (6 months) and the Foundations Program (3 months) are here. Single sessions for specific challenges are sometimes available, depending on my client load, at $295 each.Multi-session packages are the best value. I offer multi-session packages for NeuroAffective
- [Book Laura as a Podcast Guest | The Desire Gap Expert](https://laurajurgens.com/podcast-guest-desire-expert/) - Book Laura as a Podcast Guest | The Desire Gap Expert Your Audience Is Ready for This Conversation 80% of couples struggle with desire gaps—but most suffer in silence. Your audience is tired of fighting about sex, feeling disconnected, and finding no real solutions.I help couples move from that disconnection to relationships that feel connected,
- [The Desire Gap Blog](https://laurajurgens.com/the-desire-gap-blog/) - The Desire Gap Blog You're Not Broken. Your Relationship Isn't Doomed. You Just Need Better Tools. Desire discrepancies affect about 80% of couples—yet it’s one of the hardest issues to get help with. Whether you’re experiencing mismatched desire, overthinking sex, feeling disconnected from your body, or simply want to understand how desire works, this blog
- [Privacy Policy](https://laurajurgens.com/privacy-policy/) - Privacy Policy Privacy PolicyLast updated: December 4, 2025We value your privacy very highly. Please read this Privacy Policy carefully before using the https://laurajurgens.com website (the “Website”) operated by Laura Jurgens Coaching LLC, a(n) Limited Liability Company formed in North Carolina, United States (“us, we, our”) as this Privacy Policy contains important information regarding your privacy
- [What clients say](https://laurajurgens.com/what-clients-say/) - When I started with Laura, I did not have a sex drive and I was feeling less like a woman with each day that passed. The lack of sex drive also caused multiple issues in my marriage. Laura was extremely warm and caring with how I was feeling and made me feel valid in how
- [Asheville Area Favorites Podcast](https://laurajurgens.com/asheville-area-favorites-podcast/) - Asheville Area Favorites Podcast Subscribe on Apple Podcasts Here Subscribe on Spotify Here Join me for talks with local small-business owners and creators. Learn the untold stories behind Asheville’s most beloved spots. Discover your next favorite local treasure.
- [Retreat](https://laurajurgens.com/retreat/) - Lit & Luscious Maui Women’s Retreat January 2026 Come home to your authentic joy. Click here for All The Juicy Details
- [Wheel](https://laurajurgens.com/wheel/) - Find your secret turn-ons.Understand what you really need to feel aroused and satisfied with a partner.Release shame.Harness the power of your own erotic mind. Know how to get what you want. This short, simple guidebook includes The Wheel of Erotic Emotions, a handy chart to make finding your own unique turn-ons easy. Get the Guide
- [Terms and Conditions](https://laurajurgens.com/terms-and-conditions/) - Terms and Conditions BY VISITING WWW.LAURAJURGENS.COM, YOU ARE CONSENTING TO OUR TERMS AND CONDITIONS.OVERVIEWThe terms “we,” “us,” and “our” refer to Laura Jurgens Coaching LLC. The term the “Site” refers to www.laurajurgens.com. The terms “user,” “you,” and “your” refer to site visitors, customers, and any other users of the site.On the Site we provide coaching
- [Events](https://laurajurgens.com/events/) - Upcoming Events De-Escalate Stress & AnxietyQuick-Start ClassLearn simple and effective strategies to calm stress and anxiety in the body with this 30-minute webinar*Virtual class for email newsletter subscribers. Sign up by subscribing here by April 12, 2024. Bliss Boogie Festival & Becoming Shameless Workshop www. blissboogie.com
- [Audio Files](https://laurajurgens.com/audio-files/) - Audio Guided Practice for Presence & Awareness in Touch https://laurajurgens.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/Presence_Audio1_KeysToGreatTouch.mp3
- [Work with me](https://laurajurgens.com/work-with-me/) - Adult relationship, body love, and intimacy coaching. Feel joyful in your body. Be a more confident, engaged lover. Create the relationship you truly want. Learn to balance adult life with play. Everyone is welcome. Q+ friendly. How to work with me I know what it’s like to be outwardly successful and yet feel awful most

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- [Header - Startup](https://laurajurgens.com/?elementor_library=header-startup) - Laura Jurgens, PhD Somatic Sex & Intimacy CoachingWhere the science of desire meets the lived reality of your body. Home Book a Consult Podcast Blog What clients say NeuroAffective Touch About me FAQ Facebook-square Pinterest Twitter Youtube
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- [Schedule A Cconsultation (Section](https://laurajurgens.com/?elementor_library=schedule-a-cconsultation-section) - ScheduleFree ConsultationTo get started, schedule a free 30-minute consultation. We will discuss your particular situation and do some coaching on at least one of your current issues. I will answer any questions you bring. After the session, you have the option to join my waitlist for group or individual coaching.You’ll come away from this session
- [Default Kit](https://laurajurgens.com/?elementor_library=default-kit)

## Categories

- [Uncategorized](https://laurajurgens.com/category/uncategorized/)
- [Libido Mismatch](https://laurajurgens.com/category/libido-mismatch/)
- [Mistakes](https://laurajurgens.com/category/mistakes/)

## Tags

- [desire discrepancy](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/desire-discrepancy/)
- [mismatched libido](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/mismatched-libido/)
- [sex life](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/sex-life/)
- [couples therapy](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/couples-therapy/)
- [sex therapy](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/sex-therapy/)
- [relationship problems](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/relationship-problems/)
- [intimacy tips](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/intimacy-tips/)
- [intimacy issues](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/intimacy-issues/)
- [sexual wellness](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/sexual-wellness/)
- [libido mismatch](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/libido-mismatch/)
- [desire gap](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/desire-gap/)
- [relationship advice](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/relationship-advice/)
- [low libido](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/low-libido/)
- [marriage help](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/marriage-help/)
- [fix partner's libido](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/fix-partners-libido/)
- [blame and shame](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/blame-and-shame/)
- [low libido partner](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/low-libido-partner/)
- [relationship patterns](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/relationship-patterns/)
- [relationship dynamics](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/relationship-dynamics/)
- [sexual dysfunction](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/sexual-dysfunction/)
- [fixing libido](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/fixing-libido/)
- [maintenance sex](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/maintenance-sex/)
- [obligation sex](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/obligation-sex/)
- [consent](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/consent/)
- [duty sex](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/duty-sex/)
- [unwanted sex](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/unwanted-sex/)
- [resentment in relationships](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/resentment-in-relationships/)
- [sexual boundaries](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/sexual-boundaries/)
- [pity sex](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/pity-sex/)
- [feeling rejected](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/feeling-rejected/)
- [sexual rejection](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/sexual-rejection/)
- [rejection sensitivity](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/rejection-sensitivity/)
- [initiating sex](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/initiating-sex/)
- [relationship anxiety](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/relationship-anxiety/)
- [rejection sensitive dysphoria](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria/)
- [couples advice](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/couples-advice/)
- [higher desire partner](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/higher-desire-partner/)
- [emotional regulation](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/emotional-regulation/)
- [what do I really want](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/what-do-i-really-want/)
- [sexual self-awareness](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/sexual-self-awareness/)
- [understanding desire](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/understanding-desire/)
- [asking better questions](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/asking-better-questions/)
- [relationship communication](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/relationship-communication/)
- [lower desire partner](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/lower-desire-partner/)
- [authentic desire](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/authentic-desire/)
- [New Year resolutions relationships](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/new-year-resolutions-relationships/)
- [relationship investment](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/relationship-investment/)
- [love should be effortless](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/love-should-be-effortless/)
- [relationship work](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/relationship-work/)
- [doing the work](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/doing-the-work/)
- [healthy relationships](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/healthy-relationships/)
- [intimacy investment](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/intimacy-investment/)
- [investing in relationships](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/investing-in-relationships/)
- [relationship skills](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/relationship-skills/)
- [communication skills](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/communication-skills/)
- [maintaining desire](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/maintaining-desire/)
- [relationship myths](https://laurajurgens.com/tag/relationship-myths/)